The Things That Change
by iheartnywriter
Summary: Set in Season 5, Serena's life takes a dark turn when she loses the person she loves the most, and is forced to move on for the sake of their unborn baby, the only piece of him left. B/C and D. Please read and review!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N Hi, thanks for reading! I'm still continuing my other multi chapter fic "After the Accident" but this idea popped into my head so I had to write it. Please review to let me know how many people actually want me to continue! It takes place during Season 5, except there is no Louis, ever. Blair and Chuck are together, even though it's not really a Chair fic. Thanks again! :)**

Serena was jerked from her sleep by a nightmare, her sheets twisted at her ankles, like she had been for the past 3 weeks. The first 2 months, she could barely get two hours of sleep. Now, it was nightmares.

"S, it's fine. Just a dream. I'm here. Your okay." Blair said from her spot beside Serena. Serena sat up, brushing her damp hair back from her face. Blair squeezed her hand reassuringly. "I'll get you some water." Blair stood up and went out the door. Serena took a deep breath, and looked at the framed photo on her beside table.

"I miss you so much." She whispered.

"Here." Blair said, walkin in with a glass of water.

"Thanks B." She took a sip. "Thank you for being here with me, every single night."

"I'll always be here for you." Blair said. Serena drank some more, before setting down the glass and lying back down. She closed her eyes, and hoped that she could get more than 4 hours of sleep tonight.

"Hey S. How are you feeling?" Blair asked, pulling out a chair for her at the table, where there were two plates of crescents and jam.

"Fine. How about you? Did you get to sleep?" Serena said, sitting down.

"Yeah." Serena took a bite of the bread.

"Any plans with Chuck today?"

"No. I'm staying here with you. We could rent some movies?" Blair suggested.

"B, you don't have to stay here with me. Go and have fun, for the both of us." Serena replied.

"I can't just leave you here alone. After everything that's happened." Blair said, keeping her eyes on the ground.

"I'm fine." Serena said.

"You have to talk to me. We need to talk about what happened." Blair announced.

"No, I just can't." Serena said, gulping down orange juice to end the conversation.

"Nate wouldn't have wanted-" Serena cut off Blair before she could finish.

"You don't know that. You have no idea what I'm going through right now Blair. Accept that for once, there's something that you can't possibly fix." Serena shot up from the table and went to her room.

"Serena!" Blair yelled after her. She considered going after her, but decided to let her cool off. Serena slammed her door shut and sat on her bed, head in hands. She couldn't let the tears start. Or they would never end. Memories started flashing in her mind. Of that night, The night everything had changed.

"_Hello, Serena van Der Woodsen?" A woman said on the other line._

"_Yes." _

"_You were listed as Nathaniel Archibald's emergency contact. He has been in a car accident. He is located in the Intensive Care Unit at Lenox Hill." Serena's heart started beating fast, she couldn't breath._

"_I'll be right there." _

"Serena, please let me in." Blair knocked on the door.

"_I'm so sorry Ms. Van der Woodsen. He lost too much blood and had sever head trauma. We did everything we could." The doctor put his hand on Serena's shoulder. _

"_You may come in and be with him for his last minutes." He led Serena into the room. Nate was hooked up to machines that were beeping. His eyes were closed, his face pale. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she stepped beside him, giving him a kiss on the lips. She grabbed his hand. _

"_I love you so much Nate. You've given me the best gift I could ever have. I'll be the best mother I can to our baby, and I won't ever forget you." She sit down on the bed, and laid back so she was lying beside him, her head on his chest. She took his hand and put it on her 3 months pregnant belly. His pulse diminishing. "I'll tell him or her about the amazing man that is their father. You would have been the best dad." She said between tears. The machines started going faster, and faster. Until..._

"_I love you." Serena laid there with him, until the doctor came in. "Thank you for doing all you could." She said. She ran out of the room, to the waiting room where Blair, Dan, Chuck, Lily, Rufus, Anne and William were waiting, hoping, but once they saw Serena, they all knew. _

"I'll wait on the other side of the door whenever your ready." Blair said. Serena heard her take off her shoes, and slide down to a sitting position against the door. Serena put her hand on her belly, feeling the baby kick.

"He would have loved to meet you." She whispered. She looked at the picture on her table again. It was of her in a bright red maxi dress, standing in front of Central Park, with Nate behind her, his arms around her waist, on her baby bump. She stood up and went to the door, opening it slightly.

"I'm sorry Blair. I didn't mean any of that. I'm just upset." She sat down beside Blair.

"Don't apologize. Your totally right. I don't know what your going through, but I'll do anything I can to make you feel even a little bit better." She hugged Serena, and wiped away the tears on her cheeks.

"I love you B. Sit here with me a little while okay?"

"Of course." Blair said, smiling at her best friend.

"I changed my mind." Serena announced while she and Blair were eating dinner.

"About?" Blair asked.

"Finding out the sex of the baby. I want to know. I can find out tomorrow."

"Really?" Blair replied.

"Yeah. That way I can get the room ready." Serena said. "Thanks for letting me stay here with you. I had already planned to move in with Nate, and Chuck would have moved in here with you. Sorry that I got in the way of you guys." Serena looked down at her food, embarassed.

"Of course S. You will always have a place here. Chuck and I are fine, he needs to have his space right now too." Blair told her.

"Thanks B." Serena smiled.

The following morning, Blair and Serena were waiting in the doctor's room.

"Serena van der Woodsen?" A nurse with flowing red hair called out. Blair turned to Serena and smiled excitedly.

"Come on!" Blair gave her a hand. Serena attempted at a smile, even though the person she wanted to be there with her the most wasn't. Soon after they were shown to a room, the doctor entered, flashing a bright smile.

"Hello Serena, how are you?" The doctor asked.

"I'm doing well, thanks. You?" Serena replied."This is my best friend, Blair."

"Great, thanks. Nice to meet you Blair." She began to do all of the tests.

"So your weight, and blood pressure are fine. So do you feel the baby move around alot?"

"Yeah, all the time." She replied.

"That's good. If you notice a lack of movement, don't hesitate to call in alright? Now we can do an ultrasound and hear the heartbeat." The doctor began to get the wand ready.

"You don't want to find out the sex correct?" The doctor asked, squirting the jelly on Serena's abdomen.

"Actualy, I decided that I do."

"Oh great! Let's hope that the baby is in a good position." She moved the wand around, the picture appearing on the black screen.

"You will be having a little boy!" The doctor exclaimed. Serena smiled, her eyes filing up with tears.

"Oh my god S!" Blair squeezed her hand.

"A boy! I can't believe it." Serena cried. "That's so exciting!"

"Congratualations!" The doctor said. "Here, you can see his arm, and his little hand." The doctor pointed at the screen.

"He's gorgeous." Serena said, wiping away some tears.

"I'll print out some pictures." She took out the Doppler, putting it on Serena's stomach again. They could hear the heartbeat immediatley.

"Wow."

"Sounds good. He is very healthy." The doctor gave Serena a paper towel to clean herself off. "If you experience any pain, cramps, bleeding, or contractions, give us a call right away or go to the emergency room, as you could be going into premature labour. Aside from that, here are your pictures, and we'll see you in 5 weeks for your 30 week check up. Starting then, you will be coming in every two weeks, since you would be a little bit over 7 months."

"Great, thank you." Serena said, putting the pictures in her purse.

"Thanks doctor!" Blair said, opening the door.

"Your welcome, see you next time." They closed the door, walking down the hallway towards the waiting car.

"So your having a boy." Blair said.

"I'm so excited to meet him." Serena mumbled.

"What's wrong S?" Blair grabbed her hand.

"I just wish Nate could have been there, to find out it's a boy. He wanted a boy." Tears started spilling over Serena's smooth cheeks.

"He sure did." Blair pulled her best friend into a tight hug. She opened the car door, helping Serena inside.

"Where to?" The driver asked.

"Home, thanks." Blair replied. "Do you want to talk about it?" She asked.

"No, it's okay B. Sorry, my hormones are just out of control right now." Serena said, wiping under her eyes.

"Alright, just think about your baby boy. We can get his nursery ready and go shopping to take your mind off things." Serena nodded wearily before putting her head on Blair's shoulder.

The next day, Blair and Serena were walking along Central park, on their way to buy some things for the baby.

"What have you thought about school? Are you going to go back to Columbia once he's born?" Blair asked Serena cautiously.

"No. I'm staying with him for the first year, but I want to take online courses. Get a certificate maybe." Serena replied.

"That sounds like a good idea. How about your job at the Spectator?"

"I can't go back there. Working at the Spectator would remind me of him too much. I need to focus on the baby." Serena nodded.

"I can help take care of him too you know. If you want to take a class." Blair offered. She couldn't imagine what Serena was going through. She could never imagine loosing Chuck for good. They had gotten back together for good a couple of months ago, and everything was going so well. The four of them were happy, until the accident. Then, only two of them were.

**tbc**

**Please review or comment to let me know if you liked it or not, and if I should continue this fic. Thanks for reading :-) **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N Thanks for reading, and please review to let me know what you think. It means a lot to me that people read, comment, or favorite my stories! Hope you like this chapter :D**

**Chapter 2**

"Hello?" Lily van der Woodsen's voice emerged fro the elevator.

"Lily." Blair looked surprised, as she emerged from the living room. "How are you?" She politely asked, kissing Lily on the cheek.

"I'm fine, I was just stopping by to see Serena. How is she?"

"She's actualy still in bed. She hasn't been doing much since we went to her appointment last week." Blair admitted, looking at the floor.

"Oh my, I should go talk to her. I can't imagine how it must be like for her, but she needs to talk about this." Lily began walking up the stairs.

"Lily, I don't think that's such a good idea. She doesn't even want to talk about it with me." Blair said, alarmed.

"I have no choice, I haven't seen her in a while, and she never visits." Lily marched up the steps, leaving Blair to think about what she would tell Serena later.

"Knock, knock. Serena?" Lily opened the door to Serena's room. Serena rolled over, wakened by her mother's voice.

"Mom, what are you doing here?" She sat up, re-doing her ponytail.

"I came to see how you were. I feel like I haven't even seen you since the funeral." Serena looked away.

"This isn't a good time, Mom. We can go out to lunch another day."

"Serena darling, you can't hide away in your room forever. Blair tells me that you haven't been doing so well here, so I thought maybe you could move back home."

"No, mom. I'm not moving back home. This is the right place for me, and the baby." Serena chewed on her lip.

"I think you should at least consider it. After all, you and Nate had been looking for your own place, what happened to that amazing penthouse you were considering?"

"Mom, I don't want to talk about it. I'm staying here, and nothing you say will change my mind."

"Allright then, I'm just trying to help you Serena. You haven't been talking to anyone about what happened, and I'm worried." Serena stood up, walking to her closet to get a change of clothes.

"Well don't be, I just can't talk about this. That's why I don't want to see you, you always bring it up, even when I tell you that I don't want to discuss it." Serena turned back to the closet.

"I just miss you, you have no idea how scared I was when Daniel called Rufus from the hospital. His face turned white, and I was terrified something had happened to you or the baby." Lily wiped away some tears.

"I know Mom, but I just can't see you cry like this. I'm trying to keep it together, for the baby, but if you can't..." Serena took a deep breath, and sat down on the bed.

"Allright Serena, if you want me to go, then I will. I'm just trying to help." Lily stood up, and after a sad glance towards Serena, left the room. After Serena got dressed, she went down to the living room.

"Hey S. Sorry about Lily, I tried to tell her but she didn't listen. How are you?" Blair asked from the couch, looking up from her magazine.

"That's okay, I don't think anyone can stop her when she has her mind set on something. I'm fine, I just wish she didn't have to be so pushy." She sat down beside Blair, placing her hands on top of her belly.

"Of course, what does she want to talk about?"

"Everything that happened. And when she does, it makes me miss him more." Serena replied. Blair reached out and took one of Serena's hand.

"It's okay to say you miss him Serena. No one expects you to hold it together, just talk to me."

"I can't Blair. I can't talk about how I can barely stand getting up in the morning knowing he's not beside me, or that my baby will never get to meet his own father. Why did he leave me, what's the point." Serena exclaimed. She put her head in her hands.

"Serena." Blair didnt know what to say, and wiped her full eyes. She pulled her friend into a hug, and hoped that someday she would. "Shh, it's okay. You'll be okay."

"How do you know that Blair? What if I can't even be a good mother." Serena sobbed.

"I just know. I know you will be an amazing mother, and that you will do everything you can and more to make sure that he has the best life you could possibly give him." Serena looked up, and Blair wiped her cheek.

"Thanks B. I couldn't imagine going through this without you." Serena gave her another hug.

"Let's get you some breakfast." Blair suggested. "Dorota!" Dorota came rushing into the room.

"If I may, Ms. Serena, I think you be an excellent mother. You such a good friend to Ms. Blair." Dorota smiled.

"Thank you Dorota. It means so much to me to hear that." Serena patted Dorota's hand.

"You want French toast? Eleanor left recipes from Paris cafe."

"Sure, thank you." Serena told her as she walked to the kitchen.

"I almost forgot to tell you, Dan called. He wants to come over to see you." Blair said, chewing on her fingernail.

"Oh." Serena managed a small smile."I would like that. When is he coming?"

"He said to let him know what worked for you."

"How about today?" Serena said. Blair nodded, and pulled out her phone to text him. Blair's phone chimed almost immediately.

"He said he'll come over at 1." Blair announced.

"Good." Serena sniffled, getting up to go to the bathroom. When she came back, washed face and her hair in a tight bun on her head, the french toast was on the table besides Blair's chair.

"Thank you Dorota!" Serena called out into the kitchen. She smiled back, waving her hand.

"So, what are you doing today?" Serena took a bite.

"I'm not sure, Chuck isn't returning my calls for some reason."

"That's weird, why don't you go over?" Serena asked.

"No, I don't want to push. I'll just wait and see." Blair rolled her eyes. Serena finished her plate, and stood up.

"Allright, I'm going to look at some furniture online." Serena said, moving towards the staircase.

"I'll be here." Bair said. Serena smiled. She climbed the steps up towards her room. Passing by the baby's room, she smiled faintly at the cans of paint lined up. Chuck had just dropped them off, after finding them at his and Nate's old aparetment. She had assumed that Nate would have painted the nursery, but now, Blair had told her she would hire someone. Serena sat down at her desk, and pulled open the computer, before searching all her worries away.


End file.
